Employee Reviews

Employee Reviews are late this year.  We were supposed to do them in April so that raises could be posted in June.  But since everyone is so scarred about even keeping their job and no raises will be given any ways, reviews have been pushed back a wee bit.


Lurch's Interview:

Boss: "You're not Jake."

Intern #3: "I'm filling in for him today."

Boss: "Where is he?"

Intern #3: "He is in a meeting."

Boss: "What meeting?  This is a little more important right?"

Intern #3: "Its with a customer."

Boss: "So Jake sent you." 

Intern #3: "Yeah."

Boss: "And Jake is comfortable with you hearing about his personal review, salary, performance and goals?"

Intern #3: "He said his performance speaks for itself and that I should model after him." 

Boss: "..."

You can tell at this point boss man is trying to figure out how to handle this and put it to his advantage.  After a half an hour it looks like Lurch now has goals higher than anyone, more responsibility, more troublesome customers than before, and is giving up his every other Friday off. 

Lurch: "Man.  I wonder when they are going to schedule my review."

Me: "I wouldn't worry too much about it."



Ben's Interview:

Boss: "Hey Ben."

Ben: "Hello."

(high five)

Boss: "Good review."

Ben: "Thanks."

Our boss knows how much arsenal Ben has.  Ben is a workaholic any ways.  Don't fcuk with Ben.  He keeps bunnies that are dangerous enough to kill Steven Seagal, not Chuck Norris, but Steven Seagal.