Hiring!

The economy is in the crapper.  Industries that have been suffering continue to suffer.  Those that have been okay are now feeling the effects.  So what is my company doing hiring? 

[ Deep within a cave with torches attached to the wall for light.  Just picture darkness, bats, sounds of water dripping, and the sounds torches make when they are moved really quickly in a movie. ]

Boss: "We've got no way of making a profit this year.  Most of us were actually frightful of losing our jobs."

Wayne: "Were?  Were afraid of losing our jobs?"

Boss: "Yeppers.  But we figured out a way to keep everyone's job."

[grins all around]

Boss: "Actually there will be quite a bit more people around."

[confused looks all around]

Boss: "By an accounting and tax loop hole the more potential debt we assume the more we can rack up on credit.  The new government has given us the opportunity to take on up to... "

[ Boss puts on glasses and looks at notes on paper ]

Boss: "145 small business loans."

Roger: "So we can use loans to pay for things until things pickup?"

Boss: "That is the plan.  If we use up to 60 loans up are able to coast for 2 years.  If we use up to 120 loans we can expand and make ourselves appear to be more profitable to potential buyers."

Me: "Won't potential buyers look at the books and see we have outstanding debts that are unpayable?"

Boss: "Not if we get enough people that a major buyer can assume such a large debt without blinking.  So we have to become massive."

Me: "But what will all these people be doing?"

Boss: "We obviously don't have enough work for them to do.  We are covering everything already.  I need everyone here to make up fake work for new employees to do."

[ good thing we already do that for the interns ]